"I perceived she was one of those creatures that are not the playthings of Time. For her he had died only yesterday. And by Jove, the impression was so powerful that for me too he seemed to have died only yesterday - nay, this very minute." -Heart of Darkness, p 74.
Fragmentary time. Post modernism. The power of life and when it's gone. In a sense, Heart of Darkness and postmodernism reminded me of a dream, or more specifically dreaming. Time is more of a concept than a structure as it is in 'real life.' In dreams you can be any age, and events can happen at any sequence. Most importantly, you can experience things from a year ago for the very first time, in the same way you do with death. Something so untangable, so unthinkable and powerful, can distort and fragment time. Death can make life a dream because of one's state of disbelief. Consequentially, a death of a love one is reocurring in dreams for some.
Dreams are also powerful in that people are captivated within them during their existence. You don't know a dream is 'fake' until you wake up. Death can trick the mind in the same way. What is real, what is actually happening? Have you ever been to a funeral and couldn't fathom how life could do this?
The above quote illustrated the power of death and life. Within in those few lines, it captured all I felt when I lost a love one. I want to keep it at that. It keeps the most complicated components and twists in life simple. Comparing it to a dream, means I can wake up and control whats inside...
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